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Books > How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
Release Date	:	October, 1999
Author	:	Adele Faber Elaine Mazlish
Publisher	:	Avon Books
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True to it's Title

I thought this book might be about how to use praise and language to avoid facing discipline issues with children but it is not like that at all. It teaches parents to be authorative and send the right messages without micro managing their children. There is much good advice on how to recognize and change ineffective paterns of responding to your child. The suggested changes are fairly straight forward and common sense, but may require some practice. Fortunately thare are many well illustrated examples and practical exercises to reinforce these ideas. This book strictly sticks to the topic of comunication and establishing cooperation which makes it an excellent supplement to any parents existing parenting style. Teaches mutual respect without surrendering parental authourity. A very good read, I've heard nothing but positive feedback from other parents who have read this book.
I would also highly recommend the books "Ain't Misbehavin" by William P Garvey and "Setting Limits: How to Raise Responsibe Independent Children by Providing Clear Boundaries" by Robert J MacKenzie.

Alternatives to Yelling, Nagging, Threatening, & Punishing

As a preschool teacher and parent, I found this book to be the major influence in forming my communication style with children. In fact, this book has given me the skills to communicate more effectively with everyone... my friends, my husband, my boss, and even my mother-in-law! When I changed my approach in how I spoke to them, they often changed their behavior. The logical, respectful strategies really work! My only criticism is that the format of the chapters does not always fascilitate quick referral. For example, when I recently wanted to quickly look up a whining, or biting, or mealtime strategy for three of my preschoolers, I became frustrated and confused as to where in the book I had seen the information. These topics were not listed in the index and I began to flip through the pages trying to find the stories and suggestions that I thought I remembered seeing somewhere. Therefore, I would also like to recommend another wonderful new book with the very same philosophy that is organized differently...for quick use on the spot for very busy parents. THE POCKET PARENT is literally a pocket-sized A-Z guide exclusively written for parents and teacher of preschoolers (2's, 3's, 4's, & 5's). It is loaded with hundreds of easy to find quick-read bullet answers (called "sanity savers") to 40 common behavior problems of 2- to 5-year-olds. I recommend these two books for every mom and dad with a 2- to 5-year-old. Both books are permissive with feelings, but strict with behavior while preserving the dignity of both parent and child. Both books are full of humor and compassion from authors that have "been there," too. For help on the spot as well as long term understanding ...keep both books handy!

Buy it!

I am writing because the last review posted here was written August 2002 and I didn't want people browsing to get the impression that the book was no longer relevant or something. So you are in no doubt: you deal with children? you are losing your sanity? this book needs to be in YOUR home.

The central message is simple: respect children's feelings and they will respect yours. As you are looking for a parenting book, you probably think 'I DO respect their feelings, but the little brat still drives me crazy...' but actually this book shows that most of us continuously disrespect our children, and actually encourage them to behave the way they do. Free yourself from tyranny! Buy this book! Understand it, laugh with it, talk about it, try out the exercises.

A previous reviewer has criticised this book for not being easy-to-reference in a hurry. In the authors' defence: the book does encourage parents to make notes along the way and copy out the main points to remember for easy reference. Although you may think that takes time (of which you probably have little) it is actually a more effective way of learning, and let's face it, when you are in the midst of a parenting crisis, do you really want to turn around and start flicking through a book? If the message of the book really makes sense to you, then you'll be able to come up with a solution on the spur of the moment. This book encourages parents to be resourceful, self-sufficient, flexible and responsive to the immediate situation.

Indeed, I am so impressed with this book and the changes it has made in my relationship with my children that I have written this review. Now that's saying something!